Kitten’s Mewlings

As a child I was a little clock. Once a month, on the dot, I’d have strep. It was terrible. It got so bad that they decided I needed a tonsilectomy (needed my tonsils removed). However, once decided, I had nonstop strep. They pushed back my surgery three times before my pediatrician said "to hell with it" and put me under with a 102 temp.

Since then, I’ve regularly had strep once every two years or so.

Until now, I’ve gone a good five years or so without one single strep diagnosis. Guess I was way overdue. This just kicked me in the ass.

I ignored the headaches I woke up with Thursday and Friday, even managed to ignore the beginnings of a stabbing pain when I swallowed Friday. But when I woke up Saturday morning at FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING and couldn’t swallow because my entire exterior throat was swollen and puffy and tender and the entire interior was swollen and icky looking, I couldn’t ignore it.

I’ve had strep plenty to know that you must gargle warm salt-water to cleanse the throat. You must drink plenty of juices and water. You must see a doc as soon as possible.

What I didn’t remember was the massive headaches and the lovely fevers. I don’t have a thermometer, however after this, I will purchase one. I mean, if after taking some tylenol for the headache and fever, my temp was 100.4 (visited my mother, don’t ask), then I must’ve had a pretty high fever. Hell, it was high enough that I couldn’t focus or see straight, I was quite dizzy and off balance. Until the tylenol, of course. Then I could move and sleep with ease.

Of course, that also meant that I went to take a nap Saturday afternoon while Big Ed visited his parents. But when I woke up…. According to Big Ed, the apartment’s thermostat read 85degrees but I was cuddled and huddled in a ball under the blankets freezing my ass off.

So I’m not doing so well. And to top it off, I gag on my birthcontrol pill, a tiny little spec of a pill compared to the horse-pill antibiotics and painkiller/anti-inflamatory meds the doc gave me. My throat is still that swollen. *sigh*

So I went to the cardiologist yesterday….

It was a 6wk blood pressure checkup because I’d been to the ER with massively high blood pressure.

The checkup was a grand total of…

1hr of waking up/showering (6am - 7am)
4hrs of driving there (7am - 11am)
2hrs of wasting time at Wal*Mart and eating Jack in the Box (11am - 1pm)
1hr of checking in, seeing doc, and getting a healthy call (1pm - 2pm)
4hrs of driving back (2pm - 6pm)
…..total of 12hrs. Fun filled day, no?
(arrived home at 6pm, ate dinner, fought sleep, had passionate sex, and fell asleep at 9pm)

LittleOne went with me. She’s cute. And so many times she was mistaken for my daughter. *blink*blink*

She talked me into stopping and picking up as many turtles as we could find on our way home; which, judging by the millions on our way up there, should have been more. We found a total of three, two with shells punctured and dead (well, one had intestines spewing everywhere) and one keeper. Why pick up a turtle when she’s recently gotten a puppy? ‘Cuz Big Ed’s momma has a turtle collection and turtle farm in her back yard; it was a mother’s day gift from me

Anyway, long day just to hear these words (paraphrasing as i can remember them):
….."Your heart is on its way back to being completely healthy and strong and beating normally….You don’t have to take the half-pills anymore, come off them at your own pace….And I’ll see you in six months for a checkup"……

All I really have to do is watch my blood pressure, which can spike easily due to the birth control pills — the only pills I have to take now!!!!

I’m as drug free as I can be right now and LOVING IT!!!!!!

…celebration party Saturday. The 20th, that is; this Saturday is mine and Big Ed’s. (wink*wink)….

Monday Blogger refused to publish or update. I sent an email to a few of you telling you to look at Kitten’s Mewlings. Obviously Blogger is better and allowing me to post, so you don’t have to look now, but just in case you ever think it’s been too long since my last post, everything is simulposted there; look for an update, mehbeh.

And unless anything crops up unexpectantly, I will not be blogging the next two and a half weeks; I’ve got work, multiple doctor appointments, and finals. Weeeee!

(anyone wanna do my research paper for me? It’s over the Druids and Stonehenge…)

"I know, it’s a sickness."

My health is better; as long as I take my multitude of daily pills. School is as boring as ever. Work is actually getting slightly more relaxing, though it should be getting more tense; this is the beginning of home-building season, which means more orders will be coming in, which means a ton of these "HOT" jobs will be thrown at me.

Might I mention, that since Bitch’s baby’s birth, I’ve been hit with a new wave of baby fever?????? I’ve refused to admit it to Big Ed, but I’m sure he knows.

OH! I never let y’all in, did I? Bitch’s little girl, Pooh, was born Sunday, March 26th at 8:30am. She’s a beauty. 6lbs 5.8oz 18" long. She’s so tiny that NB and 0 clothing doesn’t fit her yet!

Well, I’ve updated. Now I must rush off to work….

Pardon me whilst I tend to my health.

If you haven’t heard, my blood pressure has recently decided to skyrocket at random intervals throughout the day despite the fact that I’m doing what I can to counteract it.

For me, high bloodpressure keeps me from visually focusing. Which can be bad. Especially when I drive. Last night is prime example.

So, until further notice, I shall be NOT blogging; I need to force myself to focus on things that I can no longer ignore: my health being the main issue.

Still check Big Ed’s place, he will still update…when I poke him with a sharp pointy stick…and he’s got a grandmaster plan for HNT’s

Before I tell you my tale, let me say I AM FINE!

Really, I am.

No, honestly, I truly am.

Don’t look at me that way, I’m fine.

If you think I’m lying, I’m not; I reall am fine.

Now, if you turned away believing any of that crap, you deserve a slap. That is only a small smidgen of my stubborness. I went for a full 45minutes at work not admitting to chest pain, even after a few coworkers commented on my pale-ness. I eventually called my mother, asked her advice, which I refused (of course). As soon as I hung up, I decided I needed to go to the ER. From thence, Big Ed was called. He works not far from me and I asked him to give me a ride to the ER.

Now, let me clarify: I AM FINE. I was simply suffering from chest pain, dizziness, inability to focus, fear of fainting, and shortness of breath. The shortness of breath was caused by the chest pain; it felt like someone was stabbing my left side, a few inches below my armpit (yes, women have those) every time I took a breath — breathe shallow and it hurts less! I figured it would go away in a few minutes; it’s happened before. It didn’t. I knew I couldn’t drive, and I didn’t want to bother anyone else at work and I can’t pay for an ambulence trip.

So Big Ed showed and we went to a hospital. Thing is, I just moved here and he didn’t know of any near where either of us work. So he called his mother. No help. We ended up near his parents’ home; the closest hospital he could think of. It only took us 45 minutes to get there. Yes, I was still in pain. I was also extremely tired.

Thus starts the fun part of my day.

I am stubborn about going to a hospital for a reason. I hate doctors and I hate needles and I HATE nurses. Attribute it to my sickly childhood (no jokes from the peanut gallery *CO-BIGED-UGH*). Oh, and I hate paperwork. And being asked the same question a hundred million times.

Nurses don’t know how to ask the right questions. They force you to speak while you’re panting for breath and refuse to allow your accompaniment to answer any questions or walk with ya back to the curtain room. I was utterly alone, breathless, and being asked the same questions over and over. I understand it is to see if my story was straight, but I couldn’t concentrate nor focus, and I’m willing to bet I answered the same question a million different ways, each of which concluding that I couldn’t breathe because of the chest pain. I had an inkling of what was wrong, I just never had a chance to butt in and tell them. They figured they knew all based on how I came into the ER. I sat quietly with the thermometer in my mouth while they did my blood pressure and O2 level. If my mother were there, she’d be chiding me up one side and down the other; my O2 level was upper 60s. But that’s not what shocked me; my blood pressure was 157/103! And that was after it had gone down for an hour or so! Temp was normal and after my wrist tags (one for ID and one for a pennicillin allergy) were snapped on, I was led in a maze back to the curtains of the less serious, but still important, ER patients.

More questions. I saw so many nurses and financial aid people that it’s all a blur. I was in the middle of an exam by another nurse when I was asked for information regarding creating a chart for me when the lady finally realized I was dazed and asked for permission to dig in my purse for my driver’s license. Thank God for new nurses! (she later confessed she was from the Death Valley area and was here for an internship and they had her running paper work)

Blurs later I am with the doctor who actually sits and listens while I, exhaustedly, explain that I am weaning myself off Propranalol, which I am taking for a fast and irregular heart rate. I am weaning off of it because my new cardiologist explained that it fucks up my asthma and blocks all asthma treatments. I tried to explain how I had gone from two 5mg tablets a day down to one, and now down to half. I tried to explain how it didn’t take long to cut back, but this last step from half a pill to no pill killed me after two days, which is why I’ve been down to it for over two weeks now.

Just as I suspected, it was this weaning off that caused my blood pressure to spike. The doctor was shocked my cardiologist hadn’t prescribed a bridge medicine for the blood pressure, especially considering both my parents have blood pressure issues (it’s the same thing with my other cardiologist and her "no, even though your whole entire family has something wrong with their heart, you don’t have a single problem or anything to worry about").

I was sent to xray sometime after that, and had to fill out massive paperwork stating that I am not pregnant nor could be pregnant; legal shit to keep the hospital from being at fault if I shockingly turned up pregnant and the baby deformed. Lungs and heart, I was told, looked fine. I wanted to see for myself, but I never get to anymore. They let children; they don’t know what they’re looking at–they just hink it looks cool. But us older ones? Nope. We know too much. We’ll ask annoying questions that could lead somewhere.

Then the lady with the new pill showed up. I now enjoy Hydrochlorothiazide — a diuretic medicine (it makes you peeeee like crazy). I was prescribed vicodin and advised to either start eating more potassium rich foods or begin a potassium supplement regimine. Goody; I’m allergic to bananas, so my next choices? Squash, zuchini, and green leafies! Aren’t squash and zuchini out of season right now? Spinach it is! (you can hear Big Ed’s groan, can’t you?)

They did one last blood pressure check before sending me out into the world; this time, roughly an hour later, it was 136/83 (O2 level at 73). Still high, but decently lower than when I arrived!

I actually went to bed before 10. I was so exhausted on the way home that it took a phone call to my mother to keep me from passing out! She chastized me (of course) and then sent well wishes and love from the family. Did I mention I was so exhausted I was slurring my words? I somehow managed to stay awake while Big Ed hunted down food (our Chinese restaurant that delivers has shut down). I was in no condition to attempt cooking and Big Ed was in no mood to. KFC was brought and I started to fall asleep halfway through my meal (but I didn’t let Big Ed know; though I’m sure he noticed).

Then I spent my sleeping hours half consiously finding my way to the bathroom, which has left me so exhausted today that I’m actually glad I was ordered not to go to work today.

I just googled this drug they want me to take. Wanted to see if I was suffering from some side effects from that solitaire dose they gave me. Let’s see…

What are the possible side effects of hydrochlorothiazide?
·dizziness, especially when you switch to sitting or standing from a lying position Nope
·tingling or numbness in your arms, legs, hands, or feet Nope
·excessive urination Yup
·muscle weakness or cramps Yup
·increased hunger Heh, bowl of oatmeal AND waffles! or thirst Oy! Yup
·nausea Nope or decreased appetite Nope
·abdominal pain Yup
·sensitivity to sunlight Simply light in general
·impotence I pray not!

Interesting, no? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and call the hospital; I forgot to mention I qualify for Indian Health Services, which might actually pay for my visit! Then I must call my cardiologist and let him know I went to the ER and set up a follow up visit with him. Then I’m going to finish my homework (or try to) and then write up a list of To-Do for Big Ed (he told me to, people, I’m not the nagging type and I’m NOT his wife…"YET" on both accounts). Then I will read. Somewhere in there, I’m sure I’m going to fall asleep randomly and wake up starving.

Let me say good day to you and good health!

**EDIT**

Let me rant a moment.

When I go to the ER, I fully expect to be able to call the hospital the next day and inquire about billing, something I wasn’t able to deal with the night before!

I just got off the phone. The hospital sent me in circles and the last nurse to talk to me COPPED AN ATTITUDE with me because I had struggled to speak in a civil tone!

"To hell with it!" I thought. Then I decided to look up the hospital on the internet. The [contact us] button is always good, right? Not when you are insured a 2day turn around on any email!

Thank you for contacting [hospital]. Your correspondence is important to us. It has been assigned a tracking number, [xxxxx], and is currently being routed to an appropriate company representative. You should expect a reply within two business days.

Best regards,
[hospital]

This pisses me off! I qualify for Indian Health Services, which is how I get free health care regarding my cardiologist visits. I didn’t think of it last night, but my mother mentioned it and said that as long as the hospital knows within 24hrs of a visit, IHS will pay for it. Well, I called. One lady sent me here, another there. Pretty soon I was back where I started. With this 2day email reply, I might as well kiss this goodbye and pay the lovely little ER fee.

Fuckers.

It’s insane, really.

And it’s killing me.

Who knew that a small dosage could do all this.

Last night I went to bed, two days without my heart medicine, and could not sleep. I was exhausted, but every time I got comfortable, I couldn’t breath. It was like I had ran a marathon and immediately lay down — breathless and weary. I was too tired to sleep as well. My whole body was against me. Shaking, twitching, revolting…it scared me.

Originally I was prescribed 10mg of Propranalol for an irregular and randomly fast, or unpredictable heartrate. Two and a half years, people. Only to unknowingly have my cardiologist switched and find out that the heart medicine cancels out any and all effects asthma medications have, rendering them useless and a waste of money. I found this out at the time of my massive asthma attack last month.

The solution that was given me was to stop the Propranalol all together. Easier said than done. I was told to cut down to one pill a day, then a week later cut down to half a pill, then a week later cut down to none at all — if there are any problems, to either see an ER or call him immediately.

It wasn’t too hard to adjust to once a day; I did that during my period normally because it was no use twice a day only to remain tired (my period sucks all my energy; I wake random hours of the night and sleep early and late).

I have been down to half a pill for the last two and a half weeks. My body refuses to adjust to it. I’m still suffering from the chest pains, the tiredness, dizziness, inability to focus, and to make matters worse, it has begun to play with my fragile blood pressure. Both my parents have blood pressure issues, one too high, one too low, so it was a toss up which one I’d have. Mine’s high. A fast heartrate and high blood pressure. I’m not even 21 yet, people!

Prescribed withdrawal from a prescription that delicate is fucking insane!

So far there have been a few times I probably should have been to an ER, last night one of them, but I am a stubborn little gal. I know it’s not best for me, but considering I don’t have any insurance….

A part of me is cursing this…handicap…becuase it is keeping me from a life. I struggle to get up, worry about driving to work, fight falling asleep or passing out or fainting while at work, worry about driving home from work, and am too tired to do anything — or if I’m not too tired, I’m doing anything and everything but aggrivate it. I can’t even have fun with Big Ed for fear of hurting myself or passing out or hyperventilating (which has happened before, people, and it wasn’t easy to explain to the guy beause I COULDN’T BREATH!)

Well, I have to go because if I don’t, I’ll be REALLY late for work. As it is, I’ll only be late….

Technically, Spring Break was last week, but for me, it’s TODAY, Saturday. Only.

So I’m celebrating in style. For a whole week AFTER everyone else. All on my own. Yup. My lonesome Spring Break. Officially, according to the state, my Spring Break coincided with BigEd’s, but since I have online courses and a long Saturday….

Today we were *SUPPOSED* to go to the zoo, the gardens, have a picnic, possibly the aquarium, enjoy a steakdinner, etc. But it be rainin’ on my parade. Quite literally. Therefore, BigEd is sleeping in (after waking at 7:30 and finding he couldn’t sleep, I drugged him with an enjoyable round of "say goodmorning, morning-wood"), and I am up doing chores that need to get done. Early before he wakes back up. Y’know why? So I can play all afternoon

To-Do today includes…
- clean up the dried flowers (I HATE to throw them away, but jar space is limited)
- dispose (read:eat) the aging truffles
- feed the fish [check…and found a dead one too…]
- clean the kitchen [half-check]
- do 3 chapters and a test for one online course [check]
- do 4 chapters of another online course
- write a postlab
- write a prelab (maybe ALL of them so I don’t have to see this on my list ever again)
- read a few chapters for the Saturday course
- deposit/cash my paycheck
- pay an overdue bill to the unnamed college that screwed me over yet still charged me for the year I wasn’t there (i’ll rant on that later)
- write a check off to my sister for the SpazKat
- pull cash to loan to Bitch — I mean Mother (her baby is due any minute now…any bets?) ((and no, not my mom, my friend nicknamed ‘bitch’ but since she’s due, i can’t cuss around the baby, so she’s ‘mother’))
- do some tummy-work exercises (i’ve been slacking…majorly…)
- nap
- blog [check]
- relax

Yea, that’s Spring Break for a young woman who works 45hrs-ish a week and tortures herself with schooling. It’s not like I need it; I could stay on indefinately at the company I’m at now without needing my college degree. 90% of those employees don’t have their degree (which is amazing) or have a useless degree (not in the right field). But then again, because of this job, I desperately want to get my degree — you don’t understand how fucked up things can get when one of your coworkers can’t do geometry and is working in AutoCAD, drawing all day long, and is supposed to figure out angles and whatnot for a piece of product to get produced to fit nicely into the home of the customer!

OH! And in honor of Spring Break, I changed the song: Travis Tritt - Girls Gone Wild. It’s such a fun song, how can you NOT enjoy it?

Callin’ all girlfriends, spring break weekend,
Meetin’ at the Texaco.
Wine coolers, six-packs, cigarettes, and Tic-Tacs,
Fill it up an’ hit the road.
Passin’ round the Cosmo, wearin’ out the cell phone:
"Make it to the beach by ten."
Flip-flops an’ lip gloss, bikini tops and cut-offs:
Baby, let the games begin.

The girl’s gone wild,
Reality TV style.
Just a-miles an’ miles of those girls gone wild.
Breakin’ hearts; usin’ daddy’s credit card.
Momma hollers: "Stop that child!
"Don’t you know the girl’s gone wild."
Girls, girls, girls gone wild.
(Girls, girls, girls gone wild.)
Girls, girls, girls gone wild.

And, yes, this Spring Break I plan on doing something crazy… We’ll see if I get up the nerve for that tatt…. Or maybe just simply get to feeling better first; this lousy body of mine is refusing to calm down from the medicine switch, my bloodpressure is out of whack, I pulled another muscle in my shoulder, my back is killing me, my knee is killing me, my head is constantly pounding (blood pressure headache), and I’m all around not well. Maybe after I’m better I’ll worry about what crazy thing to do?

Let me say I’m feeling terrible right now….

…healthwise.

HERE was the idea BigEd suggested for my HNT this week. Caption/explination being "This was me on my birthday yesterday. I’m there, just inside the car"….what a lovely lovely LOVELY lie. Woulda loved that for my birthday

But the truth is I feel terrible. Ill. And I figured, hey, since it’s my birthday, should do a birthday related HNT, right? Well, I have no baby photos with me. That woulda been GREAT! I was so adorable (and my chubby cheeks are still here). So, instead, I present you with me, from roughly one year ago.

So sexy in that top. So sexy then. I’ve gained so much weight in this one year alone… And so much has happened… I’m quite literally a new me. A bigger and wiser (i hope) and stronger me. I’m no longer with C, tragic as it is in my head, and I’m no longer living under my parents’ roof….

….OMG! I just realized I have a hickey on my neck in that photo! *faints* So C was actually good to me at some point….*sigh* Honest? I miss it. I do still love him and it kills me that NOW, after we’ve broken up and I’ve moved in with BigEd and have started dating him, NOW he’s realized where he went wrong and a part of me is screaming that I need to go back to him. I know the last few days I’ve been unfairly distant to BigEd and that pains me too; part of it me being sick and another part me simply missing C. Give me a few more days yet and I’ll be fine and I can un-unfairly love on BigEd.

And yes, if things go right, I will be showcasing Big Ed’s children here one day

…and if you didn’t do it already, GO BACK A SPACE and wish me a happy birthday!! I DEMAND IT!

Thank you.
- moody sick one, OUT -

I’ll do a proper update later.

Right now, let me just say this: I’m on a slightly massive medicine switch and it’s got me so screwed up right now…and a lovely asthma attack last Tuesday to boot….

I *JUST* found out that my heart meds counteract and block my asthma medicine, which is why I’ve been so sick. And it’s only now coming out because I haven’t been this sick since I started the heart stuff two and a half years ago. I’m suffering pneumonia at the moment. Severe enough that it has brought my dormant asthma back to the surface.

I went to the cardiologist on Thursday; asked him why I’ve been so friggin tired lately. His diagnosis is the asthma, medicine clash, and pneumonia. His solution is boost the asthma medicine (meaning put me on a regular dose and not the "as needed" I’ve been on for the last few years), wean me off the heart stuff, and see how I fare from there.

I’m so dead tired now. More so than I was when I was simply sick. The medicine is clashing and canceling each other on top of the reduction in the amount of heart meds, so basically my whole system is out of whack.

And I’m severely suffering.

It’s going to take a minimum of three weeks for me to get off the heart meds. Even then I must be careful; I’m under orders to immediately report to the hospital if the slightest thing goes wrong.

And to be honest: I’ve come soooo close to calling for help because I almost don’t trust myself to drive at the moment. I’m scared about going to work the next few weeks. And as independent and prideful and stubborn assed as I am, I will be informing my boss and taking time off as needed, as much as it will kill me.

And not only all this, but it is screwing with my sex life. BigEd refuses to allow me to get worked up until I’m better, I can’t get off (either knocks my breath out of me or sends my heart racing too fast for me to handle safely right now), and even if I could do both of these, I’m way too damn tired all the time to even bother! It’s frustrating me beyond belief! You don’t understand how freaked I’ve been lately that I’m gonna drop my glass or bowl or plate; or even how scared I’ve been when I jump in my car…..

..and you don’t understand how many typos I’ve had to correct..

I did try to cheer myself up; but that involved spending so much money the Saturday alone. But it was Mickey and I out doing girlie things. I got my nails done like this again :)

But the long ass drive home scared the shit out of me. So I said no more. Yet I can’t promise myself that; I’ve got to make up a lab on Wednesday, which means driving to work at 6:30am, leaving at 4pm, leaving lab about 8:30pm, and tempting fate yet again to drive from a few blocks away from my old home six cities over to my new apartment.

Now, I’m going to go and ease my chest pains and try to breathe so I can sleep. I do miss being able to hold a regular routine…

It’s known that I’m accident prone. Just how accident prone? In one week alone last year I was nearly in four different accidents. NONE OF THEM WOULD HAVE BEEN MY FAULT. I repeat: I would NOT have been at fault.

Well, things have settled down. Or they had….

I ventured out of my home today to pick up Mickey to give her a ride to get a CD. Things went smoothly; I mean people were doing nice things at random! Then we started our trip back to my place.

The highway was fine. Eighteen wheelers all over the place but traffic flowed smoothly. Exited just fine. But when we got to the light to turn left, I had an iffy feeling. Double left turn lanes I hate with a passion. It’s a fear that someone will try to get into my lane. Irrational? After today, I think not. We were in the far left lane of the double left turn lane. When I turn from that lane, I aim to straddle the white line between my lane and the new turn lane so that if there is a car trying to get into my lane, I have enough time to accelerate or swerve. In this case, there was a huge truck behind me who apparently does the same thing; he was directly behind me. The little blue thing next to me tried to take my lane. She was so close she was roughly half an inch from scraping my car. And her front bumper was even with my passenger door! Mickey flipped, I layed on my horn and hit the accelerator.

See, I only hit the pedal my foot was on. Which means if I was one of those stupid people who break for a turn (laws of physics AND driver’s education: accelerate to turn), I would have been hit by her in my side and the truck behind me would have plowed into me. That could have been deadly for Mickey and highly painful for me.

In the end the only thing wrong was a few fluttering hearts and butterflies in stomaches.

And you know what pisses me off about the whole thing? That little blue thing, who had the WHOLE FUCKING ROAD to turn into, ended up, at the next light (not even two blocks down) turned RIGHT!

People are stupid. Stupid people are allowed to drive. It breaks my heart. (and as Mickey said: "‘people are stupid. stupid people are allowed to drive’ We’re fucked.)

*-*-*EDIT*-*-*
So Mom’s babysitting has paid off. I just had a restricted number call my phone…it was a friend of that woman. He works at a contracting agency and has promised, hands down that based solely on the fact that I had a certain contracting agency listed on my resume that my resume would be the first one he pulls for the next autocad opening at a certain massive big-name company.

If you or anyone you know in the DFW area knows Pro/E and needs a job, email me!

I did have a long post to put up.

But I feel like crap and it was full of complaining.

A lot of it was too personal anyway.

Y’all may never know.

I’m off to try to get over whatever stomach bug I’ve contracted and to pull together more stuff for the big blog sale.