Kitten’s Mewlings


One Blog to Compile Them All. One Blog to Combine Them. One Blog to Bring Them All and In The Mewlings Bind Them - Compilation

September 13, 2007

Two On One

Triple Tryst
Two on one are not fair odds,
But this is not a fight -
It is a dance.
A triple person tango,
Wrapped in black silk and lace,
One and one and one,
Tangled sensually, bound by touch.

Mouths lock on skin,
Teeth nip at flesh,
Fingers clasp, nails dig in.
Three become one,
Inseparable in the night.
One claims two,
Two claim one.

~by me

Recently I have been having issues with my current relationship. Not bad issues, no, we do not argue, we do not fight, we are not in danger of breaking up. Then what kind of issues you ask? Well, see, there is this other woman….

Every party and dinner I host, I have at least one person tell me, out of earshot of the rest of the guests, that one woman in particular is looking at my man with eyes that should only be reserved for the one dating him. I play naive and ask what they think I should do, how I should approach the issue, and listen intently to their advice. Oh how little they know….

You see, this other woman has become a fun component in my solid relationship with Big Ed. From my point of view, she has earned the right to look at him that way.

It started with small glances. She would come visit late hours, after her children were placated and fed, and she would stay until the early morning. Drinks would be mixed, and while I would usually go to bed around ten or eleven, she and my boyfriend would stay up watching random BBC shows, talk about the joys of working in different buildings and departments at the same company, and whatnot. She was worried at first about pissing me off; pillows would always be piled between her and him on the couch, even when I was in the room, creating a small wall that would seem endless with the more she drank.

Then one night, I somehow managed to stay awake until after she left. That was the night she had enough liquor in her system to get up the nerve to ask me if she could borrow him. She is divorced, her oldest of two daughters is a year younger than I, she has one unsteady (read: barely there) fuck-buddy, and has had no release in weeks. I giggled and let her know I’d think about it. If only she knew what thoughts had been going through my head all night!

You see, I have had the pleasure of being the center of attention in a three-way, where I was the only female, but never have I had the pleasure of joining alongside another woman in an attempt to spoil my boyfriend. She elicited such thoughts in my head, but it was not in me to admit to this quite yet. I played it out, teasing and taunting my boyfriend with thoughts of what could happen. When he pushed a date one night after work, I hesitatingly agreed. This, from me at least, is normal - I need a little nudge now and then, and especially with this. I was excited. I was nervous. My nerves overrode the excitement. A little vodka can do wonders to calm nerves. And an exhibitionist boyfriend can help a lot as well.

The first time was incredible. The quickie that it was (she had a deadline to go pick up her daughter from a volleyball game) started before she arrived. I needed something to do to help the vodka get my mind off the nerves, so Big Ed, sitting in his over sized, nearly love-seat sized chair, with his legs up on the massive ottoman) pulled me on top of him. I was still fully clothed, he was still in his workout shorts and tank. He ran his hands through my hair, whispering reassurances to me, kissing me gently, and asking again if I was sure about this. I cracked a joke (a bad habit I picked up from my ex) and made mention of the last time I was part of an attempt at this kind of thing (the girlfriend freaked out and yelled and cried hysterically). I brought up a point he had not thought of, and it sobered him up a bit, made him nervous for a change. It was my turn to calm him down - Had I ever freaked out over anything? Have I ever given cause to think I may be that fragile? More kisses followed, and soon the bra had to come out from under the shirt. The first orgasm of many was the next thing on the list. Big Ed enjoys the fact that he can get me off so easily.

Not even five minutes later, while I was still atop Big Ed, straddling and kissing, the lady in question knocked on the door. We shall call her Willow - it is such a pretty name and bears no resemblance to the real name, but does bear a striking resemblance to her body type: tall and thin and graceful (though realistically she is quite prone to accidents and spills…not really all that graceful…like me!). I was recovering from my orgasm, so Big Ed said hello and prompted me to do the same. Big Ed is such a playful guy, he really helped break any tension by getting straight to the point, "Willow, she’s already one up on you! Would you like to even the score?" I rolled off, sat on the floor, and let her straddle him and come the same way I had.

I had not told him of the rules. I had parameters set in my head, but had not been able to sort through them, and when he had asked before, I simply told him that I would be clear if something was about to happen that I did not want happening. This left a lot open to his imagination and bought me time to sort through how far I was willing to let this go. Seemed fair to me.

Once we were all comfortable and us ladies had been relaxed a little at the hands of Big Ed, Willow and I traded off straddling him and rubbing his back with our bare chests.

Oh dear, I seemed to have skipped a space! In the course of swapping positions, Big Ed coaxed me out of my shirt, and Willow followed lead. While I, still in jeans, rode his still covered cock, Willow crawled up behind him and started rubbing his back and head with her nails. We both decided he should join us, and there we sat, all three of us topless. There, we are now back on track!

There was much timid exploring on my part, but with Willow’s ‘out there’ attitude, her explorations were much more demanding. For one on the outside, it would not appear this was her first time as well, would it?

Time draws fuzzy at this point. How long we swapped places, getting off, and teasing Big Ed…It could not have been long, but it was quite a few orgasms for both of us.

Willow and I then decided it was his turn, to which he objected. It seems he was having more than enough fun seeing us squirm and get off. We promised not to be gentle, but only if he would take his shorts off. I let Willow get acquainted with her new toy while I leaned up and kissed my boyfriend. Oh the look in his eyes!

She and I switched every few minutes, varying the techniques, speeds, pressures, sensations. We weren’t aiming to get him off quite yet, we wanted to drag out as much pleasure as possible in our limited time slot.

Willow’s daughter called, breaking the moment. Not too much of a break, though. We were then coaxed out of our jeans and panties and instructed to sit side-by-side on the couch. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of cunnilingus; it has more to do with not really being used to it because my ex, a boyfriend of nearly four years, refused to do it. Big Ed is slowly working me over and helping me, mainly because it is one of his most favorite acts. And here he had two women, very very wet, propped up on the couch in front of him - what more could he ask for?

Willow is a dry crier. When she comes, she whimpers, curls, and makes short crying sounds. Compared to my violent screaming spasms, I am sure Big Ed preferred going down on her. She had quite a questioning look on her face when he switched from her to me. With her, his face was buried and both his hands were traveling between me and her breasts, but when he moved over to me, both his arms were circling my thighs. Why, might you ask? Did you not read "violent screaming spasms"? On various occasions I have nearly suffocated him, and once, very nearly snapped his neck. I may be small and compact, but I have thighs of steel. Hearing the explanation, Willow smiled knowingly and once he started, she let her hands and mouth wander for him. After a few small orgasms, Big Ed was not satisfied, and began biting on my inner thighs. I have never had a more explosive orgasm! I vaguely remember almost nothing other than the swirling colors that overtook the room.

When I came to, my legs were quite weak. So weak, they wouldn’t move. That signals a wonderful time has been had. I was asked if it would be alright for him to actually fuck her. Little did they know I had already imagined that and the thought excited me quite a bit. While still limply lying on the couch, I watched her climb atop him in his chair. I love my uber comfy furniture! Every piece is just big enough to be a small bed! Big Ed, however, had drooped a little while working us over. I was asked if I could move just enough to come over and help him up. Have you ever tried crawling across a room when your legs are very nearly nonexistent? It seemed to take forever! But the reward at the end of the long journey…!

I love sucking cock. I will get that out in the open right now. I’m not very good at it (at least I think so), but I love it, and I firmly believe that until my experience and expertise increases, my love and joy and enthusiasm will help hide a few of my faults. And sometimes, it helps to have a small-ish mouth. With my mouth, tongue, and fingernails at work, and with Willow getting off on his hand while kissing her, it didn’t take too long to get a rise out of him. I was a little reluctant to move, but when I did, I only went so far as the arm of the chair. Mmmm, I had a great view of her face, his face, and I could drag my nails up and down his chest. She enjoyed a few wonderful orgasms (and the back cushion on the chair shows it with new creases where her hands balled into fists). After she was well taken care of, and after another few missed phone calls, and after a quick glance at a watch, it was decided it was time for the treat.

I like to think of myself as a great hostess. And as hostess for the evening, I had already promised Willow the chance to swallow Big Ed’s load, should she want to. She was shocked but readily accepted. The only problem was, Big Ed had gone a little limp again, seems disuse had gotten the better of him again (she had gotten up to walk across the room to get her phone, again). Big Ed never has such a problem, so I threw the explanation under nerves. Yes he had two beautiful women at his disposal, but I’m sure he was just waiting for me to freak out, and he may have also been dreading the minutes to hours after Willow left - he does not like it when women friends in his life do not like each other, and I am quite sure he was worried about how I would feel afterwards.

I was asked to wake him up again while Willow looked around the room for her clothes. I have never tasted anyone on my boyfriend’s cock except me, so I was curious how I would react; would I love it? Would I hate it? Would I freak out? OMG she was sweet! I cannot describe how sweet! It was like sucking down a hunk of sausage that had been dipped in a tropical syrup that had been mixed with a lot of powdered sugar, but still even sweeter than that! Again, I was reluctant to move, but shifted out of the way only after she had her clothes on and I had licked her juices clean off of him. Big Ed then took over, pumping himself to orgasm, with her mouth hovering over his hand, anticipating the treat, while her hands drug her nails up his thighs, while my mouth locked on his neck, and while my nails raked across his chest.

It was almost too much for him. He orgasmed, but he did not come. It was a long orgasm, almost as long as mine or Willow’s. A dazed and heavenly look overtook his face, his entire body pulsed and convulsed. Willow and I simply smiled at him, happy to have worked him over. I was a little disappointed Willow had not gotten her treat, so was Big Ed - when he could talk without stuttering again. She kept saying not to worry about it, but I am sure she was disappointed at least a little, too.

We all kissed and said our goodbyes, her all dressed, grabbing her phone and purse, while Big Ed and I still sprawled naked on the chair. Big Ed pulled me to him, softly kissed me, and told me again how I had earned massive good girlfriend points, putting me at or above "greatest girlfriend ever". I curled into him, rested my head on his shoulders, and purred. It may have been a silent purr, audible only to my own mind, but it was a purr nonetheless! Again, he voiced his concern for not giving Willow the treat she deserved, to which I replied: "Don’t worry about it. She’ll get it next time."

{} SubmissiveKitten {}

June 22, 2006

HNT - Ropes

Filed under: Simply Sex, HNT, Photography

**edit**
Picture relinked; it will work now :)

*+*+*

 

Refer to [THIS] post for explination about [THIS] HNT picture.

June 19, 2006

Nekkid Bed Time Blogging

Filed under: Simply Sex

Before I get to my post, let us first take a moment of silence for the loss of Mr Buzzy. Mr Buzzy lived a long fulfilled life in the year or so Big Ed has owned him, and came to a tragic demise in the jaws of a feloneous feline. I shall miss you greatly Mr Buzzy.

Now, down to business.

As y’all know, I had a bit of punishment over the weekend. Simply thinking about it has had me worked up all day. Being so worked up threw a jumble of thoughts through my brain. One of which I let hatch into a full blown devious plan. Ohhh what a plan it was!

I decided I would come home and give Big Ed a treat for a change. Then cook dinner IF I could successfully pull that off. See, I’m not one with any sort of vote of confidence in my abilities, thus I’m never sure if I can do what I plan or not. Well, to say the least, this time I was QUITE successful.

When I got home, Big Ed was complaining of the beginnings of a migrane. So I pouted a bit and lay my head in his lap to show my discontent. He petted my hair (as any good owner should) and told me he would be up for fun later this evening. Well, of course I didn’t lose the advantage I had; I began nuzzling him through his boxers. This didn’t last long, mostly because he felt the chair was majorly uncomfortable. So he drug (drug? dragged?) me off to the bed.

As he lay down, I "got more comfortable", stripping down to my thong and shirt; he was already in simply a shirt and boxers. It wasn’t long before I had him in just the shirt. He lay on the bed, pillows strewn above his head, and I sat between his legs, on my knees, running my fingers up and down his steadily growing cock. I love the feeling of that soft tender flesh expanding into something so hard and hot.

I had the urge to jump up and ride him hard, but I managed to hold out and wrapped my lips around him instead. There is nothing to compare to the deliciousness of a man’s cock! I’ve never been that great, at least I’ve never felt that I’ve had much talent, but the way he was moaning and clutching the bed….

I must admit I did not make him cum. I don’t think I could ever do that with simply my lips and tongue. However, for the second time ever, I have given him one of the best internal orgasms he has ever had. I have never felt so thrilled!

Now, the fact that I didn’t get my warm gooey treat didn’t bother me; I had only planned on making him feel good. Well, he didn’t think that was right and as soon as he was able to move again, he remedied it. I’m just still quite so surprised that I could do what I did….It was fun and I do believe I will try for a repeat performance later this week. *wink*

June 17, 2006

Torture Techniques

Filed under: Simply Sex

Men all over the world have perfected their choice of torture for centuries. Millenia actually. It’s amazing how well one man can be speciallized in one field.

Big Dick, I saw your comment. Let me say this: Big Ed has already taken care of my "lies"….

You see, Big Ed has a torture chamber. It is called the bedroom. The main torture device is the plywood under the matress; it has four ropes attached. I’ll give you three guesses what the ropes hold, but you only need one. But so far, he hasn’t ever tied my ankles. Mostly because I politely told him that it would most likely be endangering me to self-inflicted injuries.

Well, tonight I was sitting and filing down my orks when Big Ed came up to me with an evil glint in his eyes. About ten minutes later I was obeying orders not to cum as I rode him. The fact that I managed not to when I could’ve is surprising all on its own. After negotiating through gritted teeth, I was allowed to cum and then told that I would have to clean him up before being tied down…tonight he was going to work me over until I either couldn’t take it or passed out.

I’ve come close to passing out before, but only twice. Once while I was still having issues with my medication (heart issues) and that was considered a bad thing, and the other when I saw the world through a cloudy haze for the duration of my orgasm.

This time, however, it was like nothing else. After roughly 40minutes, I couldn’t stand it! It felt so great and wonderful and *ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*! Might I even mention that I saw purple? Not just any purple, mind you, but a glittery bright purple. Big Ed is thrilled about that.

After the pleasurable torture was complete, Big Ed fulfilled his promise to me: he went to get me my Braum’s Frozen Yogurt. And would you believe he was going to leave me tied up and buzzing while he left the apartment?!?!?!?! THAT is torture! And as he locked the door and left, all 10 of the men that live in the apartment across the way, stood and saluted their beer as he passed.

June 16, 2006

Midnight Treat

Filed under: Simply Sex

Ok, so it was more like 2:40 in the morning, but it’s the same concept.

See, for a kitten like me, we thrive on "treats", or simply put, a nice hot mouthful (or two) of fresh cum. Usually it is allowed me before bed or just when I get home from work — ya know, to help me relax.

Well, lately it’s been postponed until the next day. And then the next day. Damn thing called "life" getting in the way. Psshhh! Like I’ll stand for that for very long!

Turns out, it’s been OVER a week since my last bedtime treat…A WEEK! That was finally remedied Wednesday. And again last night.

Er…almost again last night.

Almost? Can you explain? Why yes, I can. See, there’s this thing called a cock. It is best when nice and stiff and rock hard. However, in the unfortunate event that it is bent while in this state, it is apparently extremely painful for the male attached. I know this. I do not do it on purpose. I happen to thrash about when I orgasm. I know this because I’ve been told a million times what I do and I unintentionally cause injury while doing so. Yesterday afternoon is testiment to that. Yes, each time it happens I feel like the worst person in the world.

He was in so much pain that I let him take a nap. Ya know, to get his mind off the pain. While he was out, I cooked dinner and cleaned a little (the blog changes were done before he got home from work). Woke him up and we ate. No big deal. The dull throbbing ache was livable.

I then drag myself to bed resigned to no getting a treat or any more fun for the night. No big deal, there’s always tomorrow. Who knew that ‘tomorrow’ would end up being almost three hours into the new day?

I don’t know how, but I was awoken around 2:40 in the morning to a smiling and heavy breathing Big Ed. Turns out, he’d been inexplicably rock hard since about one in the morning. It was bad enough that he couldn’t sleep and needed it to disappear. *smiles* Of course I protested; with every moan escaping his lips, my body tightened — I wanted so badly for him to be inside me. Well, I got my wish, partly. I got his nice hard cock deep in my throat as it pumped all that hot warm cum into me. A wonderful mid-night snack!

Would you believe me if I said that he’s the cuddling type? He sighed and then was frantic over it still being more than half hard (*sarcasticly*: the poor dear). He’s one of those that pulls you to him after sex or a really good orgasm. And he did. He was a little caught up on it still being painfully hard. Well, soft tender strokes and it slowly lays down, like a baby it sometimes needs reassuring strokes. I think he was asleep faster than I was, which is pretty damn fast when I’ve just had a treat….

March 8, 2006

HumpDay Fun :)

Filed under: Personal, Simply Sex

Remember Prelude?

We’re revisiting the past, really. See, since my last blog is no longer around, no one can get all huffy about a semi-recycled post, now can they? :P

<singsong voice>
Happy Birthday to meeeee,
Happy Birthday to meee,
Happy Birthday To Meeee-Eeeeee,
Happy Birthday to MEE!

</singsong voice >

And so the rest of you don’t feel left out:

<singsong voice >
A very Happy UnBirthday
To me,
To who?
To me,
Oh, you

A very Happy UnBirthday
To you
Who, me?
To you
Oh, me

Let’s all congrulate us with another cup of tea
A very Happy UnBirthday to you

Now statistics prove
Prove that you’ve one birthday
Imagine just one birthday every year
Ah, but there are 364 unbirthdays
Preciselywhy we’re gathered here to cheer

A very Happy UnBirthday
To me?
To you
A very Happy UnBirthday
For me?
For you
Now blow the candle out, my dear
And make your wish come true
A very Happy UnBirthday to you

</singsong voice >

There. It’s always good to recycle. And, just like in last year’s post, I’m writing my "today is my birthday, worship me!" post as horny as fuck, only this year I’m ill and watching a porn while BigEd warms up my treat — a nice mouthfull of hot cum. There really isn’t any better way to celebrate…..

February 16, 2006

Guest Appearance

Filed under: Sub Kit, Simply Sex, HNT

Again?

 

Haha! Yup!

 

Enjoy

February 13, 2006

GAHHHHH!!!!!

Filed under: Simply Sex

I just had a LONG ASS post and Blogger crapped out on me just as I was hitting ‘post’!

So instead of rewriting it all, let me give you a quick bulleted list so I can go to bed: (Google Image these guys if you don’t know them)

- Patrick Dempsey is HOT
- Hugh Laurie is HOT
- Dempsey and Laurie are SEXY ASS MDs :)
- Doctors are HOT
- Lots of drooling on my part
- Explosions are cool and fun
- The explosion on tonight’s Grey’s Anatomy was NIIIICE

And the focus (that I totally went away from as soon as Dempsey was mentioned) was this:
I WANT GREY’S ANATOMY, SEASON ONE, FOR VALENTINE’S DAY!

February 8, 2006

Guest Appearance

Filed under: Sub Kit, Simply Sex, HNT

Yup, you guessed it…

 

 

….I’m hereemoticon 

January 3, 2006

One Night Stands - A Confessional

Filed under: Simply Sex, Music, Rant

Practically engaged. That’s how you could describe me.

And yet….

And yet I find myself nearly at the edge of madness ready to pounce the next stiff cock I see.

You see, I have a problem. The problem is I haven’t been honest with you all. I’m not practically engaged. I’m as far from it as a Satan is from asking forgivness and entering Heaven, probably farther. We’ve been fighting. And when we haven’t been fighting we’ve been not seeing each other. I believe the last time I really saw him, touched him, slept with him, was the hotel night of my Christmas party for the company! THAT WAS NEARLY A WHOLE MONTH AGO! Since then I have met up with him for a few hours for random crap, none of it involving any kind of sexual anything!

Tension, people, tension. Sexual tension, frustration tension, stress tension; you name it, I’m suffering. Is it any wonder I sat and cleaned my closet today? Went through my clothes, shoes, everything, and decided I need to have a yard sale? I’M VOLUNTARILY RE-SELLING SHOES!?!?!?!?!!?!??! I’m shocking myself!

It’s no longer about losing weight and maintaining a decent size. It’s no longer about whether or not he thinks my friends are good people or not. No, I’ve been away from him too long. I know I said a relationship is about independence, but you can’t be distant through the holiday season, controlling when you’re near, and pushy when you want something and expect a person to cater to your demands. I’m sorry, yes I do love you, but I have needs, I have feelings, and you…..

I tell him, freely, I love him. I don’t think he understands how deeply I love him, and it hurts when he pays no attention to me. I knew he had to go visit his grandparents for the holidays, I knew he had to make a five hour trip to pick up a car for his aunt, but I figured he’d have the decency to tell me before he left!

After the New Years fiasco at his place, I decided I would NOT call him up. If he wanted to be mad at me, I wasn’t going to put myself in the terrible position of hearing it over and over. So I gave you a case of BlueBalls; big fucking deal! I have needed some attention WAY OVER simply the last few hours!

I figured he’d call me if and when he wasn’t simmering anymore. Know what I got? A text. I had foregone any hope of hooking up with him for Sunday and went out with a pal. Roundabout 11pm or so I get a text "In XXXX" - the five hour drive to his grandfather’s for the holidays and to grab his aunt’s car. You know how pissed that made me!!?!?!?!?!?

I immediately texted him back asking when he would be home. No answer.

I wound up staying the night at the pal’s place. Not because I was furious with C, but because we had lost track of time with our cleaning binge and moviefest. It was quite unplanned and unexpected. I didn’t even have my toothbrush! It was a catastrophe! No brush, no clean thong, no change of clothes, NOTHIN!

That next morning, really roundabout noon or so I get a reply from C. ‘Bout eight he’d be home. That’s a whole afternoon for me to waste and enjoy, right? So I shopped.

Window shopped. But I had met up with TJ for this part; he wasn’t too into me simply window shopping. No, he had to spoil me. Payback, maybe? I spend too much for Christmas (or so he says) and he drags me about forcing me to spend his money! Eh, new pair of fancy stilletos, swimsuit, and a new outfit don’t hurt anyone (not even his wallet; two of the things were 75% off).

Back with Mickey later; our cleaning binge led us to her closet. Then led to my room, resulting in the six pair sell-off.

Through all this, C has been nothing but a pain to me. He calls, finds out I’m with Mickey, gets huffy, then about an hour later asks for a ride up to campus for books. Tomorrow should be interesting.

With all these distressed feelings I’m developing from recent arguments, I’m more worked up than ever. I’m slowly becoming more inclined to follow through with the urges rampaging through my system. That wouldn’t be so terrible, really, if I happened to be single.

Could you classify me as single? I am wearing a ring, but it’s not an engagement ring. Hell, it ain’t even a promise ring! He’s trying to make peace and wants to buy it from me. I’m quite tempted to take it off, but I know that if I do, it’ll stir more trouble.

So I lied. No sex with C since Dec16. My toys….Dear Lord have they eaten batteries like candy! One point in there I had to stop using one because it was nearly to full power and it started to heat beyond holdability. Any more play woulda caused a fire! DAMNIT!

Am I making any sense whatsoever? I mean, I’ve been cleaning all day, the dust has invaded and overtaken my head. My head is pounding and my chest hurts and my asthma inhalers have yet to kick in *shocked*.

I think I shall go to bed. But before I do, I want to leave you with something. This is a song that captured me as a child. I sharked the radio for this song, I sharked the music stations on TV for this video. Originally released 1990, this song…. It influenced me quite a bit, though you may not notice much. Remind me later and I’ll tell you all about my elementary slave; he carried my books everywhere.

That Kind Of Girl
Patty Loveless

There’s a man in a Stetson hat, howlin’ like an alley cat
Outside my window tonight
Sayin’, "Baby, put on something hot, meet me in the parking lot
About a quarter to nine"

I get the feelin’ that he’s never read Romeo and Juliet
I’m gettin’ tired of these one night stands
But if you wanna make a real romance

I’m that kind of girl, I’m that kind of girl
I ain’t the woman in red, I ain’t the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle’s what you’re lookin’ for
I’m that kind of girl, yes I’m that kind of girl

Let me tell you that I like my lovin’ just as much as any woman
But I’m drawin’ the line
A little sensitivity always seems to get to me every time
I’m a sucker for a love-sick fool
The kind that carries all your books in school
I’m getting tired of these one night stands
But if you’re lookin’ for a real romance

I’m that kind of girl, I’m that kind of girl
I ain’t the woman in red, I ain’t the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle’s what you’re lookin’ for
I’m that kind of girl, yes I’m that kind of girl

I’m that kind of girl, I’m that kind of girl
I ain’t the woman in red, I ain’t the girl next door
But if somewhere in the middle’s what you’re lookin’ for
I’m that kind of girl, yes I’m that kind of girl

I’m that kind of girl, oh whoa
I’m that kind of girl, oh whoa

April 18, 2005

Submissive Personality



(borrowed from DemonQueen)

After a long talk with TJ to catch up (it’s been…weeks? since we last actually talked), I came to sudden realization. I’ve known it for awhile, but it just hit me hard when we talked.

The end of this term means the end of C and I. I am leaving my job, going to North Carolina to visit with relatives, go barhopping (I can enjoy a few free drinks and the free meals I can grab will be great too) and enjoy a fling or two to rid my mind of C. We are breaking up out of necessity; he’ll be staying here and transferring out of the community college to UTD while I transfer up to OSU. It’s a four hour separation which I am willing to drive, but with gas prices and our history, it wouldn’t work out.

But that’s not what hit me so hard when TJ and I talked. You can tell it hit me so hard because realizing it scared me. I have a submissive personality.

Why does this scare me?
I can be perpetually swayed into anything, if you persist long enough. Especially when you know where my arousal points are. C exploits these every chance he can get (he’s allowed to, to a certain point; he is my boyfriend). But what about when I become single again? I won’t have the excuse of getting home to babysit or getting home to apease my parent’s wishes that, even though I can do as I wish, that I abide by their rules while under their roof. Nor will I be able to tell the guys hounding me "Hey, quit it, I have a boyfriend". And what when I move out and have no fallback alibi? What when I go out intending to stay out until all hours because I’ve nothing to do the next day?

I’m told I’m a very attractive lady. I’m told that my personality alone could score me a free meal or two. But neither of those are going to help me when it comes to turning away a man who’s after that one thing that is first and foremost on every man’s mind. I’m not always going to have a trustworthy companion around me, and I am not going to let fear run my life, but I’m also not idiotic enough to ignore this issue.

I was told (not by TJ, I don’t think) that as long as I’m aware of it, and careful, and heed any instinctive fear, then I shouldn’t worry. I’m "a smart enough gal to know when to run" and that should be enough safeguard (as well as the customary ‘watch your drink’ and ‘don’t talk to strangers’).

{sidetrack sidenote: construction men are HOT. I’m going to miss working here. Leaving means no more work-related eyecandy…}

Does anybody understand what I’m saying? Maybe it’s just me being tired, but I feel as if I’m not saying what I’m trying to say (happens far too often, y’d think I’d ignore it).

I’m just afraid that I’ll let some asshole through my defenses and not get scared until it’s too late. It has happened before.

{sidetrack sidenote: Firemen are HOT. Surprise fire department fire-safety inspection…}

Anyway, like I said, it has happened before. I fear it may happen again, only with worse effects. And I did say that I may never have close trustworthy friends hanging around. Yes, I may go out with friends, but who’s to say they will all be trustworthy? Especially with alcohol involved. I have a friend who is anemic and passed out at the mall a few years ago and her friend of 6+ years raped her; she got pregnant from it, but miscarried. I’m about to transfer to a place where I will know next to no one (a few pals of mine live in the area, I’m going to try to get a hold of them) and the possibility of falling victim to something like that is increasing. Not to mention it’s a huge party school.

What do I do then?
Become more of a loner than I am now? Retreat nightly into my books and studies and make no attempt whatsoever at stepping outside my bubble? Carry mace and a 9mm? Y’know, the mace doesn’t sound like a bad idea…but…ohwell.

I could continue as I am and play extra careful, being the ever so ridiculed "good girl". But that’s also extremely desireable, isn’t it? Men love to changed the innocent; sink their teeth in and leave their mark (*shiver* wrong kind of analogy for being as turned on as I am…).

What I’m really scared of… It’s me I’m scared of. Not what could happen, but of me. I know I can’t help how others are going to see me or treat me, but I know I should be able to control how I react. I’m scared I might pick the wrong person to get involved with. I’m scared I won’t be able to say ‘no’. I’m scared that I’ll go out with a friend and allow a little play and be unable to stop things once they get started. I’m afraid of myself.

Also…
Let me say I’m not afraid of being single; I look back at those months C and I were apart and I know I can survive. I had/have supportive friends and a dozen shoulders to cry on. My blogbuddies and pals have been here for me, and I hope y’all remain by my side.

Maybe I’ve had too little time on my hands to sit and sort through my feelings about the upcoming ending term and C and I breaking up. Maybe I’ve had too much time. Who knows. I know that it hit me hard about my submissive nature and the knowledge that I’ll be alone soon in an unfamiliar place surrounded by strangers didn’t help.

Let me get back to familiar ground here…
I’m due to transfer out of state for next fall term. That seems fine, just need to turn in a 2week resignation before the end of this term so I can have the summer to spoil my neice and nephew. Will most likely grab an internship or waitressing job for the two months or so I’m there, so I can have some gas money to throw my sis’s way when I take her car (driving there with her when she visits and flying back) and some money to blow when I’m not spoiling the little ones or helping out about the house.

Sorry if any of this is jumpy…I’ll make my next post make more sense…

March 10, 2005

A Lesson About Masturbating Solo — Learned The Hard Way

Filed under: Simply Sex

Do not try to walk after masturbating alone to an earthshattering, world spinning, dizzifying, breath taking, and body numbing orgasm, even after an hour of limp resting; standing up and gaining balance is one thing, but trying to take the first of four steps to the bathroom leads to a quick crash to the floor.

Hope you learn from my experience. Or at least follow my advice:

Masturbating to that mind-blowing orgasm should be done only when there is a partner to offer support, or at least catch you from falling.

But when one is not available, abstain from orgasms of that magnitude!

February 24, 2005

MEN! GAH!

Filed under: Personal, Simply Sex, Rant

Sunday Chase came over. He needed to finish a paper and I needed someone to console me about the loss of my blog and the recent shit I’ve found myself in, so instead of having him over for fun, he was there to lend his support and keep me company. He was expecting some fun, I knew it, but I also knew that if we did anything, he’d never get to his paper. My solution: set up my laptop for him to work on while I curled up on the bed with my physics problems. There’s a problem here; my room is a sauna, especially when there are two or more people in close quarters. I was able to pull off the excuse "still on the dot" (even though it was a lie) and keep him from getting too frisky, but he still needed the release he’d been expecting. I wasn’t against giving him *some* fun. An’ ’sides, I needed something to eat; I hadn’t eaten since the two tuna sandwiches at 11am for an early lunch.

But that’s not the center of this post. It’s what happened last night that is. I told him Monday that I really was finished and that I hadn’t been in the mood for anything Sunday night. Small white lie beneficial to both of us: he finished his paper and I had a comforting soul keeping me company. And last night he pissed me off.

He gave me that necklace for Vday. Purrrfectly Purrrty diamonds. He likes to try to get me jealous with talk of other girls and knows it upsets me, but I’m "pretty damn sexxxy" when I get possessive. He started the talk talking about the one girl I have issues with him being around. She has her belly button, nipples, and recently her tongue pierced. He doesn’t want to see me with my bellybutton pierced ("it’s stupid"); he’d rather see me with my nipples, or at the very least my tongue, pierced. I flat out refused and told him I’m going with my bellybutton whether he liked it or not.

"Then I’m going to come over and take that necklace back. I still have the reciept, it’ll buy a few new games!"

Uh, whaaa? Fuck.You. That pissed me off. Then his buds showed up; "Sorry babe, but I’m in good, clean, honest company, and I can’t be talking to a trickery person like you. Bye" -click-

What.The.Fuck.

I was fuming by the time he called me back later that night. I didn’t let it be known. I asked him to explain himself about the "trickery person" comment. It was about lying to him and tricking him into not getting any sex Sunday night. He then repeated his "taking back the necklace" comment. Normally I’d let it go. But recently I’ve been dragged through Hell and made to feel worth less than a whore, and here he is talking of taking back a gift of diamonds and gold because he didn’t get sex. How the fuck do you think I feel?!?!? I was livid, but my voice betrayed naught. He’ll get his due today (or tonight, whenever I see him). One thing’s for certain: if he can’t realize how I feel from that, if he can’t understand why that simple joke made me feel like shit, he ain’t gettin any for a week, and he can take that damn necklace if he wants!

And, yes, he was joking. A very poor joke, especially when I can hardly tell when he’s joking from when he’s not joking.

August 24, 2004

A Theory and Question

I posted this theory on [my site] ((link no longer active)) and got a few responses that this seems to be accurate…. I’m posting it here to give my observation and to ask if anyone else has noticed it (and, yes, I do realize there are exceptions–I know of one personally).

"Cock Theory"
Yes, you heard right, Cock Theory.

My theory was developed through my own experiences, thus, it may not be completely accurate–it is just something I noticed and am kind of intrigued about.

Here’s my thoughts: the cock resembles the man.

Here’s the explanation (if you can understand it): really tall, "skin’n'bone" men have looong pencil thin dicks; really tall men with muscular builds have looong thick dicks; tall, lean men have decently long and lean dicks; average to short men that are kind of pudgy have medium to average length dicks that aren’t really thick, but they aren’t really thin….

I think that’s all I’ve noticed so far…But like I said, it was created from my experiences with verrrrrry few men…those of you who wish, can comment on how correct or how wrong I am–actually, I encourage it, so go do so.

August 9, 2004

A Fantasy Unveiled

Here is on of my lighter fantasies, to be *prayerfully* fulfilled when I’m permenantly with someone…..

One of my quotes: "It is my dream to one day find a wonderful man, who’s big enough, long enough, and strong enough to pick me up without the use of his hands." ; )

I want to wake up in the morning, after a night full of passionate love making, and have a small breakfast in bed consisting of butter-toast, oj, and a small bowl of morning rice and bacon. After nibbling at that, I want to have him crawl in bed next to me and cuddle up to me. I want him to try to distract me by putting his hands on my thighs or breasts. I want to try to resist the urge to let him take me. I want to have him pull the food away from in front of me, lay it on the floor or bedside table and playfully chastise me for ignoring him. I want to then be tickled for punishment, then gently held down as he covers my neck and face in kisses. I want him to tease me with his dick, rubbing it up and down my pussy, but not giving in and taking me then. I want both of my hands to be held with one of his while the other plays with my clit. I want to be squirming from frustration and begging for him to take me long before he makes me cum from teasing alone. [yes, boys, it is possible] After I cum, I want him to build me back up to that point, then enter me, agonizingly slowly. I know I’ll cum quickly after he enters me, and I want him to fuck me slowly until I do. As I cum, I wan thim to speed his tempo, allowing his fucking me and my tight pussy to bring him to orgasm. I want him to spill his cum deep inside me, making me dilerious. After I come to, I want him to haul me off to shower to clean up all evidence of our morning love making, where he will do the opposite; he will end up pumping me hard against the shower wall. After a steamy shower session, we will dry each other off. I want to dry him off first, getting him all nice and hard, then have him dry me off, then surprise me by coming over and picking me up and impaling me on his dick. The nice, slow virtical love making session would come to an end at the bed, where he would gently sit down and allow me to push him down so I could ride him. This time, after both of us are spent, we would cuddle and there we would sleep a few more hours of Saturday away before we finally arose to greet the day and have lunch (…or dinner…).

Maybe one day this (as well as a few others) will come true….

July 10, 2004

Coming Out of the Shell…

The general theme of these earlier posts is to show that women are NOT timid, shy, angelic figures meant to be owned, seen, fawned over, not heard or felt. Women all over the world are beginning to come out of their shell, which is a grand thing (when done responsibly). Many "come out" by way of simply growing up, some are forced, some are lucky to find a guy; whichever way, they have a story to tell. Here is my "coming out" story….

I was still in school, a freshmen to be exact, and I was all over the place with crushes. In conversations, guys were referred to as "crush #1", "crush #2"…or simply #1, #2, #3,…etc. I was still the shy little girl around guys that I had been when I first moved to Texas, but I was becoming ever more open about discussing certain subjects with my two or three best friends. Then I became extremely close friends with Matt. Tall, muscular yet thin, extremely perverted, but very appealing to me. We would talk on the busrides to and from school. It was on these rides that I became more open. Slowly, he worked on my mind; He got me to open up about a babysitter I had when I was about five or six (another story). Then he went to work on my body. His hands were experienced, and it showed. He took pleasure in watching my face as his hands traveled from my knee toward my thigh, and ever higher. I liked the sensations he gave me, so I let him do this. Rarely did he ever make it fully up my thigh; I would chicken out and ask him to stop. Once he made it to that point, he would watch my face as his hand went from the top of my head down toward my breasts, or from my stomach up or down with his choosing. We never officially became boyfriend or girlfriend (he did ask me once, but he put it in such a way I didn’t know he was asking me out until much much later). He often pulled me onto his lap, but nothing much ever happened on my end; seems everything was for his pleasure to watch me learn this new stuff. He liked to tell me I was beautiful, but never outright…it was subtle ways, like telling me I was the talk of the locker room (come to find out it was he that started the talks to see who all was interested and then to say that I was his…). He and I never shared a kiss, nor a hand-hold, but we did share several secrets. He opened my eyes to the man’s mind. He was my first cock-grab, granted it was through his jeans, but it still counted. He is the first guy to ever get his hand into the waistband of my jeans, even if that was as far as I let him get. He helped me become comfortable with a guy’s hands and caress. I was still pretty shy when he moved off to another school, but my mind was eager to learn more of what he let me taste.

Then I met another guy, my current "boytoy". He opened my eyes to practically everything. He was my first kiss, my first full on cock-grab, and everything. We weren’t truly fully physically involved until almost nine months exact after we started dating. In those nine months, his hands taught me pleasure and my mouth and hands learned to give pleasure. Then the kitten’s eyes openend fully; he showed me everything he could do. As a result, I fell in love, and the sex-crazed bitch emerged: I dress to impress; I get whatever I want, whenver I want; I play an angel for those who would look down on me but the devil’s mistress for those who know me well; I’m addicted to "written porn" and I am a "wanton creature", but I still feel innocent at times, which is something I treasure. I am still in the process of learning, but I’m more open and out there with everything than ever before (at least online I am). I post up transcribed events on [The Life of a Tease] ((link no longer active)), keeping to the truth at all times.

Thus goes the story of my "coming out" (along with a slight insite to me). Women all over the world are beginning to awaken and "come out", proving that we are not innocent prey to be hunted, but rather the hungry predator to be feared.






















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